What is it about skin tone? Black Hypocrisy…

Was it to enlighten me or cast me into darkness? Why did my mother never hesitate to remind me of the day my biological father visited the hospital where I was born to check in on the new mum and baby and how he deliberately checked behind my ears to see what complexion I was to be. Clearly, in his eyes, I was going to become too dark for his liking because he never looked back but discarded me as he walked out of the maternity ward in Watford and also my life. I did not meet him again until I too was pregnant with my first child, twenty four years later!

As I lay deeply emerged in the hot steaming waters of my ritual salt bath this question about skin tone came to mind as I reminisced on childhood memories and how I was made to feel because of my cocoa coloured skin tone. This issue with my skin colour was not just a feeling though. No, I was treated in a particular way - less wanted, less loved, and less cared for. This inferior treatment came from within the family structure I grew up in — not the people on the outside! My mother and I are of the same complexion. Her husband, his sons and my younger sister were high yellow; I was the darkest of the 4 siblings.

I learned early in life that skin tone was a thing that could be and was used to down-grade another. As was the case on the plantations; the darker “negro” worked outside in harsher conditions and was treated with more hostility than the lighter hue slaves. I was ridiculed, mocked and called “African” in the 70s and 80’s when many of us were not so aware of our Origins. Being called an African at that time was an insult for most of us due to ignorance. During my adolesnce and early twenties, I was then seen as “not Black enough!” What did that actually mean though? I struggled through it all. As I have since grown to know better, today I embrace my Ancestry. I am proud to define myself as an African woman born in the UK to parents of the Caribbean.

I know siblings in general can be very mean to each other, however it doesn’t lessen the level of damage that the teasing and taunting caused. My mother also used to say often, that my mouth spoiled my face; needless to say, I grew hating the reflection of the girl/young woman in the mirror.

Through my own evolution I have seen the consistency of this hierarchy fallacy among people of African Descent. Being half Jamaican, half Barbadian it came from both sides of the coin and knowing the damaging psychological pain it caused me, I refused to continue this damaging mental distortion of the truth which seems to be continually passed down the generations to this day. Unfortunately, I have witnessed throughout my life that many Black people will use anything to try and level up to higher status among each other. Too much competition. Why do we allow skin-tone to hold such power against others? Colorism runs deep and is one of those taboo subjects that require our compassionate and undivided attention. We need to dismantle the false layers that corrupt the minds of many, addressing it by admitting and taking responsibility for our own discriminative actions towards one another.

The term colourism is defined as “prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group”.

I grew up feeling that I was really dark skinned (equated = ugly) and that it was more of a curse to be so, in contrast to that of being “blessed” to be lighter. To be honest I don’t even know what they were seeing, as I am not that dark at all, yet I was still programmed to believe I was worth less than my lighter brothas and sistahs. I recall wearing long sleeves and skirts even in the summertime to cover my darker hued elbows and knees.

Now in my late 50’s, I’m truly grateful I learned to love my beautiful chocolate brown complexion but unfortunately there are many who still feel inferior due to the shade of their skin. Colourism seems so ingrained in the psyche of many families within our communities that they do not even recognize or care to admit how it is affecting us because fingers tend to be directed elsewhere. Is it only we who feel it, know it? As a race of people who are crying out loud for others to treat us fairly, maybe we need to check our own discriminating behaviours and attitudes first and foremost. We want to be accepted by others (we have been fighting for equality for so long) and yet we continue to use skin tone to mistreat, undermine and discriminate against each other.

I am talking about my experiences that took place in the 80’s and 90'’s. Today it is a topic that is finally being discussed among the younger generation at least…which is a start. Maybe there is some level of atonement required from the elders amongst us.? How many, I can’t help but wonder, are willing to recognize this in themselves and begin to uplift and shift this demeaning behaviour?

I must also include that it is not just the tone of our skin but the texture of one's hair that adds to this misery. I was ridiculed as a child by those around me because as far as they were concerned, I was black, fat and ugly. In contrast to the outpouring of loving attention my half sister received from the time she was born and throughout her years. During adolescence, I silently observed all the joys expressed due to her light skin tone and straight hair and the preference shown. Much unlike my natty locks that had to succumb to weekly torture as I sat by the stove while my determined mother combed through my natural hair with a hot comb to produce the shiny straightened effect of that of my sister. The difference being, mine only lasted a few days and soon returned to its natural curly state once exposed to the damp air; and let me dare not get it wet — Curly locks returns! Very unpleasant is the sound and smell of burning hair! So too the singed ears and neck-back. But every Sunday I would have to endure this. And every Monday at school I would have to deal with my classmate’s fascination with the transformation of my hair. I finally got noticed in the classroom, be it only a superficial and temporary moment.

Colour obsession is not a new term around us. Skin colour is an important facet of one’s identity, and shapes an individual’s self-recognition. Discrimination between light skin and darker skin has prevailed in society since the times of servitude and captivity. If noticed, these distinctions in the shades of skin can be traced back to as long as one can remember, one of the contributing factors is on the basis of richness and poverty. In older times, the rich, the nobles, always stayed indoors and the slaves worked under the sun. And they passed their respective genes to their future generations as well. We can still notice these genes passing down even today. In this modern era, the discrimination and ill treatment starts the moment a child is born. Relatives start comparing their skin tones to other siblings of the family. Then at schools they are called names that clearly negatively symbolise darker objects and beings. You will be amazed to know that a child of first grade understands the difference between skin colours and stigma attached to it and unapologetic-ally uses it to bully and pass sick comments on brown children around them. The very famous ‘Doll Test’ clearly shows us the way a child looks and interprets skins and tones. Not just white but black children as well choose white over black dolls reasoning black is bad, black looks evil and is ugly.

Nowadays, even when the mentality is broadening with time, leaving no section of society to escape, women still experience discrimination based on skin tone in more particular and idiosyncratic ways. Skin tone is an important characteristic in defining beauty and beauty is an important resource for women (Hunter 2001; Wolf 1991).

A number of studies and experiments have led to the findings that, a long-term discrimination of colour faced and witnessed by a person can lead to several mental disturbances and disorders. Some major illnesses are like, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, body image issues, anxiety, social anxiety, trauma symptoms, low self-esteem, depression and our very underrated high risk factor, stress. (Noble, 2012). And some common emotional reactions that get built on because of this unfairness are fear, hypervigilance, self-blame, confusion, shame, guilt and more.

While conducting research on dark females, it was found that many a times, they witnessed situations where they assumed that attention was not paid on their words by the other person rather their attention got diverted to the flaws on their skin unintentionally. They stopped making eye contact with people. They wouldn’t raise their heads when they spoke because they feared people would judge them silently in their heads. They witnessed situations of not gaining enough importance in a group of races and their ideas not being given enough value and feedback.

Skin Bleaching

There cannot be a conversation regarding colourism and not mention the epidemic of bleaching of the skin among Black people all across the globe…despite the known long term damaging effects bleaching can have. So deeply embedded that the facts do not seem to lessen the number of Black men and women/girls and boys who are determined to become lighter for as far as they can see…being lighter offers more opportunities to succeed whether in finding a mate, or upping the ladder in a company, even just to get the job! To reconcile the way they look with what they were told was beautiful, some have turned to poisoning themselves slowly from the application of bleaching their skin. The next question I ask is where did this belief or ideology originate from?

Skin bleaching is the process whereby chemicals containing hydroquinone are applied to the skin to decrease the production of melanin. In colloquial Jamaican terms, the process is referred to as “rubbing” or “toning”.

Coincidence or Synchronicity? When I stepped out of the bath that evening, I went searching for some music to play while preparing my evening meal. I checked YouTube and the 1st track that played from the reggae playlist was a song called Black Hypocrisy by a Dancehall Artist named Spice. After a little research on the subject I discovered many had a lot to say about the song and although I am not a Spice fan she had me flowing with tears of joy and thanks giving for the exposure of this taboo subject. I played it on repeat to fine tune everything she was saying. I later learned that the way in which she promoted the song with the bleaching and the long blonde hair caused quite an uproar; a whole lot of controversy!

Due to the seriousness and damaging repercussions regarding this topic, Spice highlights the issue that still remains deeply rooted within our psyche, affecting yet another generation of our young boys and girls…feeding into the lie that they are not worthy enough. Colourism profoundly messes with our mental, emotional and physical well being and it saddens me to know this still goes on in our families and communities today! More conversation, taking responsibility for our own errors and sprinkled with a good dose of TLC is needed. Let us embrace our unique, diverse and beautiful selves and celebrate and uplift our brothas and sistahs (especially our younger generation) regardless of their skin tone.

“Black girls lose self-confidence cause they attach the word ‘ugly’ to our complexion,” she sings, emphasising the effect colourism has on mental health and preaching self-love and appreciation. https://www.artshelp.com/spice-black-hypocrisy/